Whenever I talk to someone about professional cuddling who hasn’t heard of it before, there are always lots of questions that come up. Whether I meet them at a networking event or they’re interviewing me directly for an article or podcast, at some point the question comes up:

“How much do you make?”

I’ll answer when I’m asked, but…

I think this question is SUPER FUCKING RUDE!

We don’t ask this question of strangers pretty much ever.

I literally never got asked this when I worked as an engineer, and I have a theory why that’s the case:

Often when I get asked this question, I think what people really want to ask instead is “Can you really support yourself living on money you make from professional cuddling?”

(Which p.s, is still super fucking rude to ask. It reeks of judgment and attempts to size up my social status. Plus people tend to assume the answer is no when it’s really none of their damn business!)

There are a million different ways to ask this question– all of them rude.

The main variation I’ve heard is “How much do you charge?”

(Which, if you’re not a client or looking to become one, it shouldn’t fucking matter either.)

But let’s say that I shove down my frustration and answer with my hourly rate like they expect. People automatically extrapolate this info into what I’d make in a 40-hour workweek…

…and think I’m on a gravy train that’s far better than the train I’m actually on.

(this also usually results in people doing the mental math, me seeing the dollar signs in their eyes, and them saying something like “I could totally do that!” which just makes me want to never talk to them again)

Listen, working full-time as a professional cuddler doesn’t necessarily mean you’re cuddling people for 40 hours a week.

And honestly? I don’t think I’d want to– not regularly, that’s for sure!

The most I’ve ever done personally was 52 hours in one week. I loved it, but I was tired and worn down at the end of it. (Yes, I got worn down from cuddling. That’s actually a thing that can happen. 52 hours of anything is a lot.)

And working as much as you possibly can isn’t necessarily the mark of a good professional cuddler. Good boundaries are at the heart of cuddling work, and maintaining your own boundaries around the time you spend focused on clients and the time you spend on yourself based on your needs is a part of that, too.

Good weeks for me pre-pandemic were 20-25 hours of cuddling a week. Now a good week is more like 10-14 hours a week– which is still really good! Plus, it gives me some flexibility around the way I work and how and when things get done.

But these currently-reduced cuddle hours don’t actually mean I work any less than I did before the pandemic. As entrepreneurs, cuddlers don’t just cuddle– there are so many other things that go into running a cuddle practice that cuddlers don’t get paid to do that normal 9-5 employees don’t think about.

From screening clients to writing blog posts and newsletters to maintaining a social media presence through posts and interactions to making sure your profiles stay updated to doing follow ups with clients to staying up to date on public health changes because pandemic… and so, SO MUCH more that goes into making a cuddling business work that I end up working way more than 20-25 hours a week. Sometimes that’s between six to fifteen hours every week that I’m working but not getting paid that my cuddling rate has to cover.

(and, you know, making this blog and the programs I have like Snuggle School. I don’t have to do any of that to stay afloat, but I’m really passionate about helping other cuddlers and that takes time and work to do too)

So how does that unpaid work pay off? How much do professional cuddlers really make?

We’re still standing at the cusp of what’s possible for this field– so if you’re asking because you want to become a professional cuddler and know how much you’ll make, it’s difficult to get an accurate read on what you can expect.

One issue? Cuddling is incredibly flexible.

I’ve known cuddlers that see one client a month, and I know another that made $60k in six months. I’ve personally had months where I did 10 cuddling hours total and months where I’ve done over 80 hours (it’s relatively more consistent now for me, but life happens and sometimes I have to not work as much).

Hourly rates are variable too– and they’re changing all the time. I’ve seen people charge as little as $40 an hour where others charge all the way up to $300 an hour. And that doesn’t even take into account possible discounts: discounts for longer sessions, pre-paid cuddle hour discounts, overnight session discounts, and so on.

So even pricing for cuddlers with a singular “rate” can vary wildly overall, and can’t be pegged down to one number.

Depending on how many clients cuddlers are taking on, how much repeat business they’re getting, how much they’re charging for what types of sessions, if they’re part-time or full-time… all in all, it’s really hard to say how much a professional cuddler makes.

If you’re the one asking– out of curiosity, and for no other reason– the answer is “It depends.” It varies way too wildly to be able to put a number on it.

But if you’re asking because you want to know how much you personally could make if you got into this work, the answer is “It’s possible to make how much you want to make.”

Remember that how much you make doesn’t always reflect how good of a professional cuddler you are. If you want to get better, a great starting point is my free PDF workbook on Designing How You’ll Work as a Professional Cuddler. It has 32 questions I think every professional cuddler should be able to answer clearly so they can be more confident and professional with their clients.